“I was in contact with a photographer who was going to take a photo for the cover of the upcoming album. She was a middle-aged journalist who was onto a story about government secrets concerning the US border with Mexico. Through her reporting she had discovered that the CIA was developing a secret weapon, and toxic byproducts of the digital weapons system were being dumped along the Mexico border. She said she would give us a photo of the weapons site for our album art and encouraged me to go see it for myself.
I then found myself having journeyed to New Mexico, where I was approaching a precipice before a large valley. As I approached the precipice, I looked down at the ground and saw that it was covered in glass shards. Unfortunately I was barefoot. As I came closer to the edge overlooking the valley, a strange sight came into view. Down in the valley were several giant cylandrical strips of metal. They must have stood several hundred yards in the air, like giant strips of razor wire. On the metal strips were gigantic teeth, like mastodon teeth. I had the impression that these forms were somehow alive. Men in hazmat suits worked on the ground along the structures. What they were doing, I couldn't tell. But I became very excited at the thought of this perplexing image being on the cover of the new record. I took out my phone and snapped a picture. I sent the picture to my brother, or the journalist, or my father, in a text that read: 'this image is going to be remarkable.' Then I left the site.
Later I was in an apartment, I think in Philadelphia, with my father. We were trying to get online with his computer, but were having difficulties. Finally, as my father tried once again to log on, a graphic of a skull appeared on the screen, as if to signify danger. The skull then morphed into the skull of a dog, a long snout extending out from the nose. The snout opened and closed, as if to laugh at us. This completed the animated sequence of the graphic. We now knew, either from a prompt or in our guts, that my picture text from the secret weapons site had been intercepted by the United States government. And this was confirmation that they had our exact identity and location. It was thus clear that I would not be able to use the photo of the giant cylandrical strips of teethed metal, and that I would be spending the forseeable future trying to evade the CIA.”
As for name... oops I meant to write Mr. Peen not Mr. Peep. But perhaps Rodney Carmichael? And yeah love the 1998 idea. Also, according to the internet, cell phones with cameras didn't happen until the early 2000s. we have an exhaust of names. Dates and inventions don’t matter. Should probably say it was the year 136, or 1888. Maybe the reporters name is Massive Corn, or Anselm Rednard. Or Chorg Dorgon, the modern day Mulla Nasrudin, or Pshittr. 15th of Sand, Khurmookum of Dr Faustroll, year 146? Give at least 2 years. And five smells. Side note (to self) Massive Corn is better than or equal to Reuters as a reputable source. But I’m still trying to wrap my head around the earth being flats.